Akso Rojas
Akso Rojas' realm of abstract sphere hyperspace
Letter To My Future Better Half

“I just read a letter today. Someone’s letter for someone he hasn’t met yet. Someone who may not exist. Someone just like you. I thought you could have written one for me so I have written one for you just the same.” ~ Fauxx’ Unsent Letter to Someone From the Future

Yo,

I thought of using “My Destiny” or “Dear Better Half” as greetings but I think it’s overkill.

It’s 1:46 in the morning and I really need to sleep so let’s make this a quick informal one. But first again, I should be sleeping right now (yeah, I have to emphasize that I should have been sleeping at this time of the night) but this little voice inside me whimpers that I have to write something for you before I put myself to slumber.

So real business mode.

I am in ‘the’ state of wishful thinking that you’ve already found me. I imagine that while I walk the dim-lighted street every night, you are somewhere stalking me ~ hiding behind every lamp post I passes while I whistle a Canon in D. You know about me already and I, on the other hand, don’t know that you exist yet.

I don’t know. Maybe not.

But I can’t also deny the probability that I already found you long ago. I may have bumped on you while I walk my way to the university. I may have said sorry but you didn’t care. Still, I knew it was you because I felt ‘it’. I felt something that is unknown to me not until I met you. It was that unique feeling–that I happen to feel only to you amongst the hundred people I already knew. 

But then again, I could be wrong.

Because you are actually my childhood playmate who knows my childhood dreams. You and I played a lot and shared humongous wall of memories. That I need not search the world because you are just a house away from me. How could I miss that one important sign that it was you all along? And all my wasted time searching, I should have wasted on you.

But again, on the nth time, this theory is wrong.

I may have found you already or I haven’t yet but I still believe in the idea that You and I will meet someday (again). With this presumption, I can really go to sleep now ~because who knows, I’ll be meeting you later tonight in a scenario I haven’t thought of yet. If that happens, please remind me that it is you I am searching for.

But of course, I won’t believe you just like that.

87 Comments to “Letter To My Future Better Half”

  1. bluguy says:

    dreams turning into reality…sa kabila ng ating kamalayan meron talagang isang nilalang na nakalaan para sa atin…dangan nga lang na minsan di nagkukrus ang landas ninyong dalawa….kung nagkrus man…di nyo alam na kayo pala ang dapat sa isa’t isa,..napaisip tuloy ako?

  2. sows says:

    sekand beys muna. teka..

  3. bonistation says:

    hoping that things well ge better in that so-near future! ^^

    wala sanang mabago sa istorya nyo haha.^^

    “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” awooooOO!!

    • Ax says:

      Gusto ko nga sana sa isang murder scene kami magtagpo.

      Tatanungin niya ako ng: Are you the murderer?

      Sasagot ako ng: No, I’m the man from the future.

  4. sows says:

    it was early morning, about a year ago when a guy (about 3-4 inches shorter than me) approached and narrated a story of him seeing me [everyday] passing through the bus terminal.

    “palagi kitang nakikita, walang kasama.”
    i smiled. he did too. speechless as i can be, he breaks the silence,

    “cp # mo, pwede makuha, lam mo na, text text..” but panic enveloped me so i rushed into a jeepney and said,

    “ahm, wag na lang ha.”
    he doesnt beg for it (sayang pakipot lng ako) so the catch-me-im-falling theme song never lasted that long. since then i got a wishful thinking that he would still show up, talk, and ask for something from me. then one day, i saw him holding a girl’s hand. the end.

    ala lng. sharing. naalala ko lng. marami jan mga ilang taon nlng bago cla mamatay makikilala pa nila ung para sa kanila, ung iba hnd na talaga. naniniwala rin akong hindi lahat ng nakikilala o nakakasama naten, sila na un. at oo, naniniwala din ako sa serendipity sa real world man or romantically speaking. Kaya tama, wala tayong magagawa kundi hintayin kung sinoman un. pro bgo mngyare un, let’s taste everybody. i mean, itreasure lahat ng nakikilala at makikilala naten. haha! :P

    gud morneng ax, mag gelpren ka na kc! pag-usapan naten, marame akong irereto sau! ayiii! :)

    • Ax says:

      Maraming namamatay na single. Fact.

      Pero hindi ako mamamatay na pangit.

      **Dapat pati ATM number mo binigay mo tapos gaganyan ganyan ka, eh, cellphone number lang pala ang hinihingi. Pero nakakatakot din, baka kase jejemon siya magtext. Ibabato ko lang ang cellphone ko pag ganun.

      Okay, seryosong tanong to ha:

      Ang pag-ibig ba ay HINIHINTAY o HINAHANAP?

      • sows says:

        sa lahi namen panay nakaka 2nd to 3rd wives/husbands cla. tngnan naten bka ako ang pumutol ng family tradition.

        “Pero hindi ako mamamatay na pangit.” -tama. halata ko nga. w/ ol d matching shoes and outfit, naman!

        nako hnd ko n binigay kc bka mamulubi xa. tae nia. ang dali nia kc makakita ng iba. sya na. sya na ang gwapo. jejemon. nako jan kme ng aaway ni ube.

        ok cge cryoso na rin:
        Ang pag-ibig ba ay HINIHINTAY o HINAHANAP?

        Sa Fil. culture, babae dapat ang maghintay. pro dapat umeefort din kame (babae) ng move pra mapansin. dress up, meet other people (isang dahilan kya ako ng choir ulet..hihi.), and maraming prayers. privileged are those guys who can court girls (kc ung iba torpe) cuz even if they’ll be dumped, at least na try nila. napagkakamalan kc na flirt or easy girl ung gumagawa ng ganto. kaya nga hanga ako kina salbe n marunong manligaw ng lalake cuz i rili cant.. :)

        i must say haf-haf xa. daig ng maagap ang masipag. ligawan mo na kc malay mo type ka rin nia!! eto tlg! ahaha :P

        • Ax says:

          Mabilisang sagot dahil nasa opis.

          Fling lang ang hanap ko. Wala pa akong pang date eh.

          • sows says:

            tae mo! wlng pang date. nakabayad ka n ng ng tang-u wla pa ring pang date? tsk.

            daanin mo sa humor wg palageng serious or intimidating!! go for the fling! ay gold pala! :P baduyli spiking, mas importante samen ang thot at sincerity. sa opis nio, wla bang prospect?

            • bonistation says:

              gusto ko tong usapan, am learning hahaha

            • Ax says:

              Wala talagang pangdate. Ayun nga, naubos lahat ng pera ko sa pagbabayad ng utang. Naibenta ko na rin yung kidney ko, pero wala.. wala ng natira sa akin.

              Maraming prospect sa opis, kaso friends kami lahat. Meron, facebook friend of a friend.

              Kaso wag na, high profile siguro yun.

            • sows says:

              @kuya bons, ahaha. oo nga eh minsan usap nmn tau ng mjo seryoso for a change.

              @ax, alam mo yan ang hirap s ibng mga guys, umuurong na wala pa man din. panay assumption/s hnd nmn dun grumaduate. :P sana nga naging lalake nlng ako ng mahigitan ko pa ang number of basted records ni Sakuragi. :P

              baket, may lungs ka pa ah, hanapan kitang buyer gusto mo?

              ah tama mhirap din pag ka opisina mo naka ANO mo kc if ever maging kau at magbreak, ilangan ung umaatikabo. hassle. take it from me. halos mabali ang leeg makaiwas lng saken. the nerve! :P

        • Ax says:

          Second question:

          Ang pag-ibig ba ay NAGTATAGO o NALILIGAW?

          • sows says:

            Ang pag-ibig ba ay NAGTATAGO o NALILIGAW?

            Loko. hindi un ngtatago kundi natatago. ano to hide and seek? :P maaring nasa sau lng un pero hnd mo napapansin kc abala ka s ibang bagay. o nagiging way of life mo na lng. at hnd lng to romantically ah. pwedeng s pamilya mgttext ka, “musta jan sa bahay?”. s kapatid, “oh, wla ka ng panggastos, pamproject?”. s prends, “ok ka lang ba?”. ung mga simpleng forms of “CARE” could equate to love. iba iba lng ng intensity. merong gusto mo dahil gusto mo lng xang katabi s k*ma, meron naman na makita mo lng feeling mo zero gravity na s earth at meron na wla nmng dahilan bsta gusto mo lng xa.
            maswerte ung iba na nararamdaman un kagad.

            naliligaw? pwede. eto ung pag-ibig na hahamakin lahat. obsession kumbaga. selfish love. example ung mga kumakabit. hnd kc lahat ng kabit pera lng ang habol ung iba mahal tlg ung kinabitan nila. right love at the wrong time ika nga sa kanta. pero hnd ko cla dyina-justify kc masama tlgng manira ng pamilya ng iba. pro kung sa tanong na kung nagmamahal ba cla? isang malutong na OO! hnd man sa pera, sa sarili, o marahil sa taong kinakabitan nila..

            on the other hand, pwede din dito ung mga scenario na kahit meron ka ng long time relationship then a girl/guy suddenly appears and u’ve felt you’re inlove with the other person, pwedeng libog o tlgng mahal mo un. love comes like a robber. perhaps, may qualities ung tao na un na unique sa kanya na wla sa time span nio ng karelasyon mo. ul never know or saw it coming until is JUST so happens. at yan ang hiwaga ng pag-ibig.

            ang maswerte mong kulay ay red violet. lucky # 6.66. maswerte araw – WALA. asa ka. pra sa karagdagang katanungan (upang ma update ko nman ang aking blog) magtxt s 0918*** o mag email sa SPAGETISOWS atyahoo.com

            Tandaan: May mga bagay na ibang tao lng ang nakakaintindi. :)

            • toni says:

              eksperto ang ms. Sows ah!

              inperness makinig ka sa mga sinasabi nya kabsat Ax pero tingin ko tinitimbang mo ang responsibilidad.

            • toni says:

              @Sows naaliw ako sa hula mo, at me karibal na ang Salbe.

              pahula nga din ako.

            • Ax says:

              Salamat sa hula portion. Magre red ako mamaya.

              Ow, I am referring to lost and hiding, actually. Ang pag-ibig ba ay nagtatago sa iyo at kahit pilit mong hinahanap ay hindi magpapakita?

              O ang pag-ibig ba ay naliligaw, kaya kahit matagal ka ng naghihintay, medyo matatagalan pa?

              Haba ng sagot mo, ilang words yan?

            • sows says:

              @ax, 283 words (ung on topic ah. 338 plus ung off topic.)

              matanong ko lng, tingin mo ba ikw ay a glass of water that is half empty or half full?

          • gracylicious says:

            pasingit hehehe…para sakin naliligaw base on my experience ha hehe. Naliligaw kasi madami nakikialam imbes na yung isa ang sagutin mo nasagot mo yung sa isa mo pang manliligaw dahil sa impluwensya ng friends or family dahil mas gusto nila yung isa.Minsan kasi parang mas maganda na yung iba magdesisyon lalo na pag family kesa yung puso mo pagaganahin

  5. mariaellabhi says:

    there are things that only “fate” makes the story more beautiful… :)

    • Ax says:

      Ella, kinausap ako ng crush ko kanina. First time whirlpool. Eto ang sabi niya:

      G*go ka pala eh. Di marunong mag-excuse me. Pa-salvage kita, ha, ano! Ha?

      Ang sweet di ba? That’s fate to me.

      • mariaellabhi says:

        nakakaloka naman ang first encounter mo! wahahahaha
        and again, there are inexplicable things that a financial analyst cannot profoundly elaborate…

        fate has a desgin to every story… may typical, may out of the world, at may simple yet fruitful…

        may story na childhood friends sila na nahulog sa isa’t-isa
        may isa na crush nya ang classmate nya, na later become crushmate – bago naging opisyal sila

        may “unrequited love at intervals” – naunang nainlove ang guy pero hindi nasuklian ni girl… when the girl realized that mahal nya rin, na-fall out of love ang guy…

        but, as mama said – ang pag-ibig parang karera, paunahan lang yan. Pinakagamandang pag-ibig ay ang sabay kayong nahulog sa isa’t-isa… na hanggang ngayon wala pakong living couples testifying to that… heheheh

        • Ax says:

          Ang pag-ibig ay isang laro.

          Parang Starcraft. ~ Galing kay Gaso yan.

          Well, I am inclined to believe that love is like a glass of water. It’ll quench your thirst. But for some, a glass of water is not enough to satisfy their crave.

          • mariaellabhi says:

            matanong ko lang… nakakatakot ba ang pag-ibig? anong gagawin mo pag nanjan na yan sa harapan mo? tatakbuhan mo ba? o ang tingin mo sa kanya ay isang problema na kailangang solusyunan…?

  6. Vajarl says:

    Ax, pwede ko bang i edit tong entry mo? Mukhang puyat ka nga nung sinulat mo to. Hihi. :p

    And anyways, your words, as usual, confuse me. I am not sure how to interpret this. Hindi kaya ng powers ko ang literary skills mo Ax. Pang jologs lang ata ako. Haha.

    Goodmorning Ax! :)

  7. toni says:

    kung di mo sya mahagilap hayaan mong sya maghanap seyo. biro lang!

    tignan mo kasi mga nakakasalubong baka bigla magtama paningin nyo.

  8. machongbutiki says:

    aba, aba, na curious ako sa title ng letter mo, bat ganon ax, pag ganitong topic ang post mo, ang bilis bilis kong nagegets. hahaha pero pag iba. talgang tumataoob mga nuerons. ko. ohyeah. :) replyan ako email maya.

    • Ax says:

      bukas na ko magrereply. borlogs na ako, napuyat ako dahil sa post na’to.

      • machongbutiki says:

        no doubt. galing galing namn ksing magsulat, talgng pinag aksayahan ng oras. oha oha. pstt. nagreply na ko. magreply ka na. inuugatan na ko dito, khit na medyo disapprove ky momma, ang plan kong trip, hayst. tpos, padamay na din punta ko sa site ko. me bago kong post, :) salamas!!

  9. busyokology says:

    katulad daw ng isalng noah ang pag-ibig. hindi mo ito mahahanap dahil sya ang hahanap sa iyo. hehe

  10. tacio says:

    may sagot si tacio sa bawat tanong.lalo na sa pag-ibig.hehe

  11. Joyo says:

    hmmm pumapag-ibig… darating din yan, sana nga lang aware ka na siya na yun..

    • Ax says:

      Hoho. Nasulat ko lang yan just for fun. Haha.

      Di naman ako nagmamadali. Cool lang ako. Eight hours nga tulog ko kanina eh. Ibig sabihin, di ako stressed!

      • mariaellabhi says:

        very good…
        chillax mode pa rin…

        ako medyo pressured na, wala kasing nakakatanggap sa isang tulad kong bibong-bibo and hyper… naiintimidate ang mga guys… heheh

        paano na? paano na ang magiging ama ng mga anak ko?! ahahahaha pangarap ko kasing maging stage mother – yung support sa backstage while the kid is singing a Broadway song sa PICC stage, heheheh… he/she’ll (my kid) the next Broadway sensation! ^_^

  12. livingtain says:

    padaan, hindi ako nagbasa kasi…. lolz

  13. lio loco says:

    o eh sino ba talaga ax? ‘yung kababata mong kalaro sa bahay-bahayan noon o ‘yung taong hindi mo pa nakikita hanggang ngayon?

    decide! hihihi!

  14. jason says:

    maybe i should get started on composing a letter but not so same to this one. this entry really pushed my brain’s run or go button, for me to put effort on something, something that i won’t ever regret on the mere future. this is exciting i think.

    i’m planning to write a half portion, and let it be finished by my other half.. hohoho

    but what if plenty of time will come and still, no result… patience is virtue implies then? no?

    • Ax says:

      Try it out. Try writing to someone who you actually do not know the recipient is. Excitement will bring honor to your life. Hoho.

      Srsly, try it out. Yeah, the half-portion-idea and I hope your other half had written/will be writing something for you too. And yes, patience is a virtue. The trick on this patience thing is that: Waiting just makes it sweeter.

  15. poot says:

    hey kuya ax! musta na?

    ang cool naman nito. malay mo nga talaga nakita mo na siya, pero hindi palang time para maging kayo. haha, kaya nga may destiny diba?

    and hey, matatapos na ako ng thesis ko. i’ll be having my final defense next week. i’m so excited – i need a break! haha.

    ps. makagawa nga din ng ganito. haha!

    • Ax says:

      Ayos lang ako. Eto, madilim sa kwarto. Patay ang ilaw. Bukas ang leptep.

      Ayos ah. Matatapos na thesis mo. Sana grumaduate ka na. Kaw na lang ang hinihintay ng gobyerno! Hoho.

  16. Allen says:

    isa lang masasabi ko:

    “Feelingero” wahahaha! apir kuya ax! Haha!

  17. (magbabasa na sana, bigla nakita ang mcdo ad sa sidebar…)

    i clicked it agad. bawal kasi i-click yang ad na yan sa aking blog eh. hehe. now i know…

  18. naalala ko ang kantang “Dreams are my reality. The only kind of real fantasy…”

    hehe, astig ng imagination mo ax, sa isang murder scene mo pa gusto makita ung better half mo. hehe.

  19. ROSE says:

    hello .. pde bng mkipag link exchange? kng ok lng… slamat..

  20. Vajarl says:

    Anlake ng Ad ng Mcdo nakakairitur.

    Tama na ang paglalandi Ax! Baka magaya ka saken na palaging nananaginip! Hoho.

  21. Barry says:

    “might as well be single” haha

  22. tenshi says:

    do you really believe in destiny?

  23. Yuuki-chan says:

    You’ve never met him or her before yet it only takes but a moment to fall.

    I love this post. :)

  24. carizza says:

    Oddly, I actually think this is a romantic post, especially for one who has not known you have been falling in love with her long before you met.

    The waiting game, huh?

    It seems that I’ve forgotten it myself, or maybe I just got tired of waiting, or I might have dropped my hopes of finding my future love.

    Or maybe then, I may be wrong, too.

    Whatever. Just wanted to say hi, Ax. :)

    • Ax says:

      Hello there, too! Sorry for being invisible the past couple of years, and I mean it. It has been ages since I lurrrk the vast realm out there.

      Don’t misunderstand my waiting game, I am actually enjoying it. I’m just 24, and there’s a lot of time for me to enjoy what’s on the platter. I hope to fall for my destined-be when I am ready. Ready in all aspects.

      So there goes. I am not in a hurry to fall in love. But I’ll be preparing myself for that.

  25. gracylicious says:

    Minsan sa kakahintay natin ng right one hindi natin namamalayan nasa tabi na pala natin tsk tsk…

  26. Fauxx says:

    When I first posted my letter, I was making my way “out of the woods” heart-wise. I just came from that phase when I’ve dropped so low that I can’t even describe what is best for me, and somehow managed to pull through. I couldn’t finish the letter though… and I’d like to say it’s either extreme depression, or laziness or just fate. Thinking about it, It’s funny that the month after, I met Sheryl, the girl whom I think I’ve written my letter for.

    She doesn’t know about this yet. (Don’t tell her just yet. She doesn’t read my blogs haha.. not that I am really complaining)

    Anyway, I read that love is either a feeling or a verb. I think the one I was talking about here is a noun. The idea of a perfect someone made for us. Where everything fits, everything happens and everything sparks… and it’s false (fauxx™ lol). One should not expect to live life expecting this [Noun] to happen inevitably but this is not saying it (Love, True or what-have-you) isn’t true.

    Well, I dunno what I am saying here, but I think its sort of like: [Noun] isn’t really all [feeling] but if you learn how to [verb] then one day you’ll realize its the [noun + feeling] you’ve been looking for all along. Do believe in [Noun] and do not at the same time.

    Hahaha. I don’t know how else to explain it..

    (Speaking of blogs, I might be able to settle in a new blog.)

  27. bongkito says:

    hi ax!!! long time no visit sa bahay mo so heto ako’t nagbabalik!

    di ko alam if this is a sort of deja vu kasi sometimes dreams (even half awake dreams) confuse us whether thing have already happened or not. but if ever this is truly for someone in your not so distant future, then hope one day that person comes to you with the promise of ending up with forever with the girl of your dreams.

    hope to visit again soon! btw, belated happy birthday!!!

    • Ax says:

      This is for archiving purposes. I’ll let my future soulmate read this in a not so distant time. ;] Tomorrow is my birthday, so no worries not greeting me in advanced. ;] And thank you!

  28. elpidio says:

    who’s that lucky girl that you are pretending to be! is she really is or something that your one of illusions that goes into your creative imaginations.

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